You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize