I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
