Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
