So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
