Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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