I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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