i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
