I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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