Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
