So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
