I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
