So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
