It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
