$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
