u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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