well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
