She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
