I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
