Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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