she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
