Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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