i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
