ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
