i just wanna soil my oats bro
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
