My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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