So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
this boner is exhausting
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
