Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
