Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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