And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
