Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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