"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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