i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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