can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
