so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my poor anus
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
