Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
