I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
