Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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