i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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