I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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