We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
