i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to calm my uterus...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
