FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
