He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
