So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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