I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
