hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
