There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
