why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
