We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's get the cat blown out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
