You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
