so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
