some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
the liver wants what the liver wants
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
