i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Life is so much better after having sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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