And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
