you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
