pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
