I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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