I wish I could teleport
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
