Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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