Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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