I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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