One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
