normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
