and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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