we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
