Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
